Reynolds Metals

How is this conclusion paragraph?

It's a research paper and it's about bad driving habits. This is the conclusion paragraph. I just want to know if it makes sense and sounds good... Our ability to cause harm to ourselves and others by our own carelessness is not something that should be taken lightly. Yet millions of Americans are buying SUVs thinking they are safer even though they are “three times more likely to die in a rollover accident than someone in a car (Reynolds).” It’s simply a higher center of gravity that makes this true. Perhaps that’s true for humans as well. When you get behind the wheel, you have a higher sense of security, probably due to the thousands of pounds of metal that surrounds us. You get a sort of invincible feeling and a blind faith that nothing bad will happen to you. You put your trust into the driver you are tailgating that he will never have the need to make any sudden stops. So the next time you catch yourself committing one of these bad habits, you’ll be able to recognize it right away and stop it before the unthinkable happens and you become unrecognizable after being thrown from your higher sense of security. Thank you very very much for taking the time to read this and add your opinions or corrections.

Public Comments

1. SHOULD be taken lightly? i reeeeaaaalllly hope you meant should NOT. other than that, it's good. EDIT: hehe.....oops... mine? http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090428133435AAJ2r7l
2. Here comes the sun: He put is not prior to the should... :) I think you could use more adverbs to show convey your strong feelings on the subject. For example: "Our ability to cause harm to ourselves and others by our own carelessness is DEFINITELY not something to be taken lightly." You also need some punctuation in the following sentence. I think your citation is really effective, but a better way to introduce it might be "Yet millions of Americans are buying SUVs because they are believed to be safer, when, in reality, "..."... Oh, and the closing quotes go before you write Reynolds, not after. Just fix this and add more clarity, because you make some really good points. Some of these sentences sound like they should be cited, so be aware of that as well. And you shouldn't use "you" in a formal paper. Okay, done rambling. Good luck and nice work so far. :)
3. Our ability to cause harm to ourselves and others by our own carelessness is should not be taken lightly, yet millions of Americans are buying SUVs believing they are safer when in reality, they are “three times more likely to die in a rollover accident than someone in a car (Reynolds)." It is simply a higher center of gravity that makes this true for humans as well. When you get behind the wheel, you have a higher sense of security, due to the thousands of pounds of metal that surrounds you. You begin to feel invincible and gain a blind faith that nothing bad can happen to you. You put your trust in the driver you are tailgating, believing that he will never make any sudden stops. Next time you catch yourself tailgating a blue sedan, thinking it would only take a little pressure on the gas pedal to squash him, you’ll be able to recognize it right away and stop it before the unthinkable happens and you become unrecognizable after being thrown from your higher sense of security. The ending didn't make a lot of sense to me overall. More than likely because I haven't read the rest of the paper. Don't be afraid to use vivid imagery and get descriptive. Make up scenarios. Try not to use unneccessary words, they just get in the way and make the paper seem longer, but it's actually a lot more boring reading nonsense words.